Guys with no dating experience

Find me a group of 30-year-old men and I’ll pick out one overgrown frat dude living with roommates, another guy who just dropped his two kids off at school, a few who are well into their careers and a couple soul-searchers looking for work.

Some will tell you that they’ve finally figured it all out and some more will say they feel hopeless for the first time in their lives. But perhaps the motliest part of this crowd is the ever-growing group of 30-year-old single guys.

He’d also really appreciate it if his mother would stop setting him up on dates.

The Misogynist hates women, and women hate The Misogynist.

The Total Package has a hell of a career going, but don’t you for a second suggest that The Total Package would be a workaholic—The Total Package is a family man.

He tried to rebel briefly, but after his last girlfriend was not allowed in his parents’ house, causing her to cry, he gave up on that.

Now it’s seven years later, his hair got bored and left, and his high school lacrosse glory isn’t part of the conversation that much these days.

And he’s noticing that girls like his ex-girlfriend don’t seem to be all that into him anymore.

He’s not really sure how to be single but he’s goddamn happy he is, and he’s sure as hell going out tonight.

He’s also the arch-nemesis of The Resigned Fiance, who’s in an equally unhappy relationship but just kind of kept going with it, unable to resist the sweet, sweet inertia, and who most certainly does not want to hear about The New Lease On Life Guy’s latest exploits.

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Yes, the woman fit for The Total Package will be the ultimate icing on his cake of perfection.

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